Fort Brassica.....

.....has been rebuilt.

It's the only way to keep thieving pigeons off my cabbages. It's actually, I think, really good design. The blue hoops are external water pipe from Wickes, sold in 20m rolls and cut to length with a handsaw. The netting is pegged down at the sides, slid up the hoops to meet in the middle and joined with clothes pegs at the top. For access, just remove the clothes pegs and the netting slides smoothly down to the ground. It's by far the easiest way of using netting that I've ever worked with (ordinarily, I hate using netting!).

They, the pigeons, that is, have also been known to attack sweet peas. So here's Fort Sweet Pea,


which you'll notice has the virtue of being vertically expandable as the sweet peas grow. Nothing if not innovative here you know.

And finally, for ye who doubt the purpose of nursery beds, here are the leeks nestling in the nursery bed for a week or two.

They're almost, but not quite, ready for transplanting. So why don't I just wait a bit and transplant them to their proper home? Ah well, you'll just have to wait and see.

Provision of Allotments - a sham consultation?

I've just stumbled across this, entirely by accident.

The Dept for Communities and Local Government are running a consultation on removing statutory burdens from local authorities, one of which is the statutory requirement to provide allotments.

The consultation ends today, Easter Monday. Did you know about it? I bet you didn't. Nice one, CLG. Run a consultation but don't let interested parties know you're running it, then you can claim that because there weren't any replies no-one is that interested and you can remove the statutory duty with impunity. Pah; rumbled that one, matey.

You've just about got time to write to them. And your MP.

At last

It's taken a long time but I've finally managed to dig over Section 8 at the bottom of the plot. This is how it was at the start of the afternoon.


The big heap is last year's compost, thrown on it with good intentions (you can't beat a big dollop of good intentions; almost as good as a big trollop with bad intentions) to empty the space for this year's compost; but then never acted on. The whole thing was becoming an eyesore.

And that's a shame really because it's a nice enclosed bed with good soil. It's clearly been a very big cold frame at some time and every autumn I say to myself "I really must get on and build that back into a cold frame; it'll be really useful in the spring". Of course when spring comes around I've done no such thing and it's too late then.

But at least I got it dug over and the compost worked in.


You have to admit it looks better already. It's going to be a nursery bed for leeks and then for salads and possibly a few tomatoes, overspill from the greenhouse at home.

Six Butts

I've got six butts.

Well, not me personally. I may have put on a bit of weight since I was positively skinny but even so, six butts. Dear me, no; how rude.

I do, though have six water butts, strategically positioned up & down the length of the plot, watering for the use of. Two of them are courtesy of Duck Dinner Dash, and much appreciated they are too.


I know you can only see five in this picture but that's because one is behind me. Technically, one is in fact a bath. No lack of amenities on this allotment, I tell you. There'll be an en-suite soon. And, yeah, I know, the one lying down (look very closely) has a hole in it. That's a hole at the bottom; obviously it has a hole at the top otherwise it wouldn't be a butt, it would be a tin. Do try to keep up.

The one with the hole in it will soon have a concrete bottom, a condition I feel sure many of us have suffered at some stage. Then it will hold water and I'll be fully up to strength butt-wise.

Levity aside, this is important because we are being exhorted to save water, use butts, water from the butts with a can and avoid watering with a hose. All very worthy if sometimes a tad misplaced. The Council seem to have this idea that we all leave sprinklers going for hours on end. I've never seen anyone using a sprinkler; no-one would let them monopolise the tap for that long. Anyway, mi' butts are full to bursting and all's well with the world.

The onions & shallots, started off in the greenhouse, are in.

The wallflowers are still flowering well, albeit nowhere near a wall.

But I'm saving the best till last. I know, what a tease.

Look at this chap.


The first Asparagus of the year. Hopefully there'll be lots more. I didn't cut any last year, to let the bed establish. I cut this one as the very last job, raced home with it and had it with my tea. Sausage, egg & chips. And asparagus. A classic combination. Remember where you heard it first!

Cherry, Cherry

Well I hope so, given how many flowers there are on this cherry tree. This is it's first year flowering so I've got great hopes of lots of cherries for Wilma Wilbury later this year (you'll remember that I don't actually like cherries so planting a cherry tree is a great act of selfless devotion!) ;-)

Strimming On (or, more accurately, Off)

It was one of those days, yesterday, when strimming off was just exactly the right thing to do. The grass was at the length where if I left it another week it would be too long and "a problem". The sun was hot enough to dry it out where it fell and, crucially, the boy's own wondertool which is my petrol-powered strimmer hadn't seen action since the autumn.

Needless to say, it made it's point by being reluctant to start but once firing on all cylinders (that's all 1 cylinder!) it made short work of the excess. And doesn't it look tidier? Well, all right, apart from the heap of old wood and the strategically placed manure heaplet. Have faith. The first one is going to the tip and the second will get dug in.


Mind you, I now have a touch of vibration white finger. The strimmer's reluctance to start (sorry, technical bit coming up) is probably down to it being full of stale petrol, at least 6 months old. I used to pooh-pooh the idea that petrol could "go off" but I'm coming to the conclusion that it can. Whenever any of my arsenal of power tools (that's 3 in total) are reluctant to start, fresh petrol almost always does the trick.

And then I went a-mattocking, all the live-long day, slicing the top of the overgrowth off the soil and just leaving it to crisp up. It doesn't eradicate the weeds, because it just clears the top growth and doesn't dig 'em out. But it does give them pause!

So, all in all, a good day yesterday which has left the plot looking considerably tidier. I wish I could say the same for the shed roof.

Those of you with sharp eyes will see the parlous state of the thing, not waterproof and sagging hard. I have two sheets of corrugated bitumen-y roof stuff at home to fix it. Fingers crossed; perhaps next weekend.

Progress......

.....is slow. I've been "off-plot"for nearly two weeks, on assorted other duties (!), and at this time of year that's a big mistake; things (mostly weeds) just grow so fast.

But I'm back in the groove and made a good start clearing Section 1 at the very top of the hill. It has the lightest soil, fewest weeds and is closest to the manure heap. I'd hoped to finish it and get some manure in but didn't manage it.

Still, the rhubarb is roaring away. I think it's Timperley Early. It's also beginning to grow it's own Triffid. I've never seen a flower spike as big as this quite so early; that probably means it needs splitting up in the autumn. Crikey; even more rhubarb!

And things are flowering. Look at this Plum. I'm due a big crop this year because last year was a 'resting' year for the tree. The Blackthorn has almost finished flowering now and I'm hopeful of more than the 8 sloes I had from it last year. The Cherry hasn't started yet but the buds are positively fecund. And I'm very pleased with the wallflowers, which have survived a real bashing & crushing by the snow.

In just one afternoon....

.... I cleared the brassica patch,

rough dug it, rough manured it (is there any other way?), chopped the manure in and transplanted:

Garlic - Christo
Garlic - Thermidor, and
Shallots - Jermor

All of them were started in the greenhouse in November and sat in a big sulk for nearly three months before they did anything at all. But they look good now; fingers crossed that they stay that way! When I'm transplanting I always try to make sure the plant doesn't know it's left home. Usually it works!

And look at the Lovage;

and the Rhubarb.

It's my signal of Spring, when the Lovage comes back.

And don't the raspberries look good,

every one of them wrapped up in it's own personal pile of manure. Just what the doctor ordered.

Shovelling it....

....manure, that is. Whatever did you think I meant?

At long last I've done something about the manure-less state of this plot. The lack of ongoing fertility additions has become ever more obvious. Steps had to be taken. So Shaun arrived with his big tractor this morning and his even bigger trailer-load of manure. £25 for a big trailer load strikes me as worth every penny. And it's really good stuff; well-rotted, not like some I've seen which was still warm and reeking of ammonia. The worst I ever handled was pig manure; how did I know it was pig manure? - I found a dead piglet in it!

Anyway, back to the plot. Shaun's delivery completely blocked the access road around the allotment, greatly inconveniencing the dog walkers who also use it. Some of them are less than punctilious about cleaning up after their dogs. Some of them also occasionally forget for whom the road was made, like the one who almost felt the sharp edge of my tongue this morning.

"Is thet manure?" she asked, querulously. "Nah, luv, it's Attar of Bleedin' Roses; course it's manure. Chuffinelle." I almost said. But I was of course ineffably polite; as you'd expect, although some effable words did go through my mind.

A trailer-load of manure is a pretty daunting prospect though. You look at it and think, Lordy, Lordy, this is a piece of work. I'm never going to be able to shift this; will my back stand up to it?

But it's like eating an elephant; a bit here and a bit there and soon enough you've eaten an elephant. And probably tastier than a pile of manure.

Some of it went through a specially-created hole in the hedge.

The rest of it went in a barrow down the hill. It was easier and faster through the hole in the hedge. The barrow developed a mind of it's own going down the hill. My role was simply to cling on and skid-steer it.

Laugh? You'd have lain on the ground; I nearly did, several times.

But it all got done, in only three hours and with no undue twanging from my back (which was my greatest worry about the whole process). And here's how it looks now.


Is that a pile of manure or is it Attar of Bleedin' Roses?

Much reduced, following MOAB

How it was

How it became

How it is

Sometimes, only a Mother Of All Bonfires will suffice.

This week I are mostly been.....

....croaking.

Woke up one morning to find someone had crept in during the night & filled my throat with rusty razor blades. Opened my mouth & moved my lips, as for speech, and not a sound emerged.

Since then it's improved a bit and the hosepipe someone else had attached to my nose has been removed. In short, I've been full of cold and have done absolutely zilch on the alloto.

But that must change.

This week I are mostly, nay totally, not at work and thus have a pressing appointment with a pile of manure. And a new shed roof. And strimming. And seed sowing. And the garlic needs planting out.

I'm just, like, so totally not at work, yeah?

Onions

I said last year, after a run of disappointing results with onions, that I wasn't going to grow them this year. So naturally I went to the garden centre this morning and bought some onion sets. Well, it's the sunshine, innit? Makes you all optimistical, dunnit?

Anyway, here they are.

50 Red Baron and 100 Sturon. I'm making a concession to their poor showing last year, and the year before, and..... by starting them off in the greenhouse. There are some shallots in there too, ditto.

It seems to be working well enough for the garlic and the autumn planted shallots, although they did both sit there in a sulk for nearly three months.

And I've been looking at the great survivors. I started the autumn by sowing some "winter salads", the plan being to overwinter them in the greenhouse for a running start this year, and possibly fresh salad at Xmas. Well, Ho-Ho-Ho! The extreme cold in December mostly put paid to that plan. But there were some survivors, and here they are: Radicchio, Spinach and Lollo Rossa lettuce.

There are a few Mizuna too, but that's tough as old boots anyway.

Incidentally - "Great Question of our Time" coming up - why are some garden centres so poor at something as basic as putting the price on things. Don't they understand a basic principle of retail (you offer goods for sale, tell people how much they cost, and if the price is right people give you money for them. Errm? Difficult?)? Are they just incompetent? Can they not be arsed? Why are they still in business? I'm sure I don't need to sketch the scenario out for you but be assured the goods were so priceless I didn't buy 'em. Ha!

The Pressure

Sometimes you just don't realise just how absolutely, overwhelmingly, mind-bogglingly filthy.......... your patio is until you turn a pressure washer on it.

Here is some before and after.


And it's great fun; a real boys toy!

Especially when an incautious pigeon gets a little too close. No pigeons were harmed etc, but he is probably the cleanest he has been since the day he hatched.

Slash and Hack; Slash and Hack.....

....and before long you'll have a pile like this. Just need some prolonged dry & windy weather to dry it out and I can have a MOAB (Mother of All Bonfires).

Elsewhere, rhubarb is back


But so are pigeons. This was once, last week, sprouting broccoli.

The one good thing in this is that it isn't mine! It's from the plot next to mine; close enough to share a loathing of pigeons.

Seed order in!!

I like to grow something new every year. This year it's:

• Limnanthes douglasii - the poached egg plant, introduced by David Douglas in 1827. Long-standing readers of this blog will understand my David Douglas obsession. For the rest of you, start in 2008. The David Douglas film documentary is almost ready for release; keep watching this space.
  

• Sorrel

• Parsnips - in truth, I've grown Parsnips before but they're a pain in the parsnip. Slow to germinate, seeds only last one year, prone to canker, don't like 'em that much. But there is an enthusiasm for hearty soups, containing.....you've guessed it.

• Celery (see parsnips)

• Chilli - anxious not to repeat the great Chilli Oil disaster I'm trying some chillies intended for drying

• Night-scented Stoics (very hardy)

Not so much Eton Mess, as.....

......Raspberry Mess. Look at the state of these; they were never tied in last summer, for reasons which elude me now but it was clearly a mistake.


Hey Ho, nothing half an hour with a pair of secateurs can't solve, plus a hefty dose of "must do better" for this year.

The rest of it looks reasonably tidy, providing you don't look too closely.

There's a reason the camera is pointing in that direction and it isn't only because the light was better!

Opening the account.....

.....for 2011, that is.

Happy New Year to you all. Here's looking forward to an energetic & productive year of allotmenting. Attaboy!!!!

Two years ago today I'd just been admitted to hospital with acute appendicitis, my first hospitalisation for half a century. Today, sans appendix, I've been much busier.

No pictures, because it's just been too murky and dull, but in a packed programme this afternoon I've:

• finished the end-panel of the "manure bay". Amazing what you can do with an old pallet and a couple of posts.
• pruned the Blackberries (Bedford Giant & Oregon Thornless) and tied them both in. If 2010 was productive, Blackberry-wise, 2011 looks set fair to match it, if the number of fruiting canes is anything to go by
• picked Leeks & Cavolo Nero to accompany tonight's roast chicken

It looks as though I'm going to have to do some more repairs on both my metal water butts. They both have a huge block of ice in them, comprising about a third of the volume, but are otherwise empty of water. They were both full before the cold weather. I suspect the entire contents have frozen and sprung a leak in the bottom seam.

It feels as though I've done something productive today, and it's now a full 12 days since the Winter Solstice - it must be starting to get light again soon? Please.

Bit of a theme here?

Books; always lots of books at Xmas. I love it; I'd struggle to live without books and often have three or four on the go simultaneously. This year's haul included:


by the wonderfully-named Twigs Way. She has a refreshingly different take on allotments, majoring more on their place in social history than "plant yer carrots here, sunshine". She is also strong on allotments in Eastern Europe, as are the Eastern Europeans of course. Our Polish friends, before they moved to their current house, had a huge allotment with a two-storey summerhouse on it. Imagine getting away with that here. But it's a good read and I commend it to you.

But that's only one of this year's Xmas themes, and there isn't much going on at the allotment so I'll ramble off down a scenic byway for a moment. Also included in Santa's goody bag was:


I realise this may seem a tad odd, bordering more on pain than pleasure, (and nothing to do with allotments so you'll just have to indulge me in this) but I've always been keen on cycling UP hills, ideally long, hard & difficult hills. And there are some crackers in this book:

• Fleet Moss - the highest road in Yorkshire
• Kirkstone, Wrynose & Hardknott passes in the Lake District,
  
• Crawleyside - out of Weardale
• Winnatts Pass & Curbar Edge - in the Peak District
• The Stang - out of Teesdale

Done them all, he said modestly. And a few more. But I was younger then; much younger. I think I may have had more legs to call on; I certainly had bigger legs, with bulges in places where nowadays I don't even have places.

And I've never done the Big Daddy of the British Isles - Bealach-na-Ba or Pass of the Cattle, in Wester Ross. I do recall standing at the bottom of it in 1968, aged 18, thinking Oh Lordy, No, that's just way too long & steep. But of the 100 Greatest Cycling Climbs, I find I've already done 17 of them, albeit none of them recently.

So that's the intention for 2011, to get out and up some big hills, from the list and some others. It's a challenge from my younger self to my older self, to get out & do the job properly. What's that you say? Middle-aged fool, trying to relive his lost youth? Fie, be gone ye doubters; I can do enough of that myself.

Before this whole thing gets under way of course I first need to re-instruct the cycling legs in their true function, for they have been lamentably under-used of late. I may even be tempted to do a separate cycling blog to relay progress. In the meantime, here's a pic of times past.
This is my bike on top of the Snake Pass, sometime in the early 1980s. You'll have to take my word for it that's it's my bike, because I'm taking the picture aren't I? Doh! So why didn't I just get some passer by to take the photo with me in it? Because there weren't any passers-by, is the reason; the road was officially closed to all traffic because of the snow. Except bicycles, self-evidently. It seemed like a good idea at the time; actually, it still seems like a good idea even now!!

I hope you've had a great Xmas and are likewise looking forward to 2011.

Dull and drab and dreary....

....is what the allotment is like at present. Everything has been pressed flat by the weight of snow and frozen by -14C. But no doubt it'll recover in due course and in the meantime it's still producing leeks and cabbage.

A Cautionary Tale

I like Chillie Oil. I grow Chillies. I've previously put home-grown Chillies in oil to make, errm, Chillie Oil. Should be simple, and it has been in the past.

Not this time.

The first two bits went well, growing the Chillies & putting them in some nice extra-virgin olive oil. But then, lateish on Saturday night, already tired & facing a long & snowy day on the road on Sunday, we noticed that the bottle was sitting in a small pool of oil.

Wilma Wilbury, brave Wilma Wilbury, investigated and, long story short, the bottle exploded in her face.

We had green, oily, chillie mess everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. All over the kitchen, over the window, the cooker, the floor, the walls, the dining table. And of course, Wilma.

Wilma is unhurt, although she did slip out of my hands a bit (the oil, you know).

It had clearly been fermenting in the bottle but fortunately the glass didn't break, just vented the oil at high pressure, but Ye Gods, what a mess. Come to think of it, I haven't looked at the ceiling; there might be some there too. And it was horrible. It was like the sort of stuff seabirds regurgitate to feed their young.

Shan't be doing that again (I've been told).

Official: Wales colder than Hudson Bay

We've been in West Wales a lot recently on family business, and it sure felt cold. Quite how cold only became clear this morning with reports of -18C in Powys and a mere -9C on the shores of Hudson Bay.

Whatever next? Polar bears in Porthmadog? Narwhals in Narberth?

And what will this do for my garlic, which is stubbornly refusing to show at all?

It works every time

I have a little Blackthorn bush
Nothing does it bear
Just a load of leaves
and thorns that get everywhere.

Which is a bit unhelpful, given that it was planted expressly to produce sloes for sloe gin. Five years it's been in and, to date, zero sloes. I've been muttering, in it's earshot, about digging it out.

And what do I find today?

Lo, a sloe; well, two actually in this shot and a further 6 elsewhere.

Now 8 sloes ain't gonna make much sloe gin, perhaps one shot, but you have to admit it's a start. They've gone to join the blackberry and apple vodka which is maturing for Xmas.

Now you see 'em

Now you don't

The autumn clear-up continues. I like this time of year, when you can start to see the bones of it all again. And it's an opportunity for bonfires of course!

The great Autumn clear up....

..... has started, although not before saving these fine chaps for a while longer

Q - what do you call an overgrown Courgette?

A - a Courge, of course

The hedge is cut; yeah, I know, like you're interested in a picture of a hedge. But it was hard work so you're gonna have one.


The nasturtiums are still flowering and the sun is still shining, occasionally. But mangetout, courgettes & sweet peas have hit the heap already and many more aren't far behind. Next big step? Manure!!!!

Nutkins scoffs the lot

He's a cheeky little fellow;

this was barely 6 feet away from the conservatory window.

But clearly the lure of some nice fresh sunflower seeds outweighed the risk of being shouted at by Humans.
It would have been a different story if I'd caught him eating strawberries again